School in the Ville: Monday Through Wednesday
by Flying Penguinz
Summary: Ever wanted to know what life would be like in Morganville if all of the characters were in GRADE SCHOOL? Read, and laugh your arse off. Follow this saga by Madelyn Grey and myself.
1. Monday

You have Madelyn Grey and Erika Okaami to thank for this one, because:

Erika Okaami said, **"OMG! There was an ADORABLE little boy in the 18 month old today and his name was Samuel O_O"**

And then Madelyn Grey was all, **"WRITE ABOUT AMELIE AND MYRNIN BEING LITTLE, LITTLE KIDS, AND OLIVER BEING THAT CREEPY TEN YEAR OLD THAT LIKES TO HANG WITH LIIIIITTLE KIDS."**

And a _whole_ bunch of other stuff.

* * *

><p>Mondays were no one's favorite day.<p>

Not even Myrnin's.

Even though he'd eaten a whole _seven_ packs of crayons—one more than he usually ate in an entire day—, he couldn't satisfy that craving that told him, _Eat the crayons… do it, Myrnin. They won't hurt you…_

Mondays were hard on him.

= /

This Monday must have especially disliked him, for it introduced Oliver and Morley to Myrnin. Mondays were cruel.

.

It was ten-thirty. Or something like that. Myrnin had no idea because the teacher lady hadn't teached them time and clocks and stuffs. But what did he know? He couldn't even _see_ the clock because his giant, neon-green sunglasses had turned off the light in the third grade classroom.

But ten-thirty—or whenever the hell it was—was when playground time started.

As soon as he got outside, he saw Amelie was sitting on the swings with Claire, the girl who was already in first grade, even though she was _supposed_ to be in kindergarten. Myrnin adjusted his purple, polka-dotted bowtie and went over to sit in the sand below Amelie and Claire—not on the swings. Myrnin _hated_ the swings. Once, they had threw him off, so he was never, _ever_ going to play with them again.

"Hey, Cwair," Shane said, running up to the swings. "I bwought yew a sumfing." He pulled out a necklace with three shiny green beads on the string. "It's a neckwuss."

Claire blushed and looked down. "Thanks, Shane," she said, kicking her feet idly.

Amelie hopped off the swing and nearly fell because of the huge pumps she was wearing—probably stolen from her mother's closet—and cleared her throat, adjusting the plastic pearls around her neck. "Excuse me," she said. "You can't talk to Claire." She held her small hand out for the necklace. "_I'll_ hand these to her."

Shane looked at Amelie like: **=/**

But he handed over the necklace anyway. "Fanks," he said. "Tell her I says hi." And then he ran away to play 'Lemme Beat Chu Up' with the other preschool boys.

And then Myrnin distinctly heard a voice say, "Nice, maaaan. You just gave a neckwuss to a older girl!"

(And this is when Oliver came over.)

Then, Oliver came over. He sat on the swing that Amelie had just recently left.

"Hello," he said, his voice was deep and old-like with a stupid-sounding accent Myrnin couldn't place. He smelled odd. Like… skunk. "I'm Oliver. I'm ten. And I can read." He sipped from a mug of hot chocolate—or something that _looked_ like hot chocolate, because it sure as hell didn't _smell_ like hot chocolate.

Amelie's face looked smug. "Well so can I, and I'm in the _third_ _grade_." She dug around in a pink purse with pink down feathers sticking up around the opening. Amelie pulled out a tube of lipstick with a redheaded mermaid princess on it and attempted to put on the makeup. But she pretty much failed and got it all over her lips, her teeth, _and_ a bit of her left cheek. She smacked her lips together and smiled. "Perfect."

"Thank you," Oliver said. But Amelie gave him a look.

"I wasn't talking to _you_," she said.

"Oh."

(And this is when Morley was introduced to them.)

Then Morley was introduced to them. By Oliver.

When he came within ten feet of Myrnin and the others, they knew it. They _smelled _it. Myrnin thought _Oliver_ smelled bad, but it was absolutely _nothing_ compared to this. He thought he was going to die. Did this child not _bathe!_

By the time the new kid crossed the line to the swing set area, as if in cue, Amelie, Claire, and Myrnin all scrambled up and stepped back from him.

"Everybodies, this is Morley," Oliver said, pointing to the child that everyone averted their eyes from. "He's my only friend. But I hope I'll be making friends with you guys soon!"

Everyone was like: **O_O No…**

This became just too much for Myrnin to handle, so he pulled a box of crayons out of his back pocket and began to chew on the red one—his favorite, because it tasted like strawberries. He _hated_ the black ones, which he always just chewed on and spit out to look cool. It tasted like death. But the green ones were nice. They tasted like cinnamon. Oh, and the _pink_ ones. He almost loved the pink ones as much as he loved the red ones—but not quite. The pink ones tasted like roses. And, boy, did Myrnin love eating roses.

But then, Myrnin saw a frog and got distracted. He thought, _Perhaps this lovely little froggie has hopped all the way from Canada. Or Mexico. And maybe I should dissect it to see what it has in its belly because he must have had to eat on its way down—or up—to Texas. _ And then he ran after it.

Amelie and Claire watched Myrnin shoot off, stabbing at the green frog with a scalpel he'd just pulled out of his lab coat he always wore. He actually wore it so much, the white was completely gone and covered in brown from the dirt and mud he enjoyed rolling in after school on the way home.

"Do you think he should be doing that?" Claire asked Amelie, because Amelie was the head honcho in the group and that was how Amelie intended it to be.

Amelie's makeup-disastered head shook from side to side. "No, but he'll be fine. I remember when he tied a cape to hisself and tried to flies off the roof of mah house. He's fine now, isn't he?"

They watched Myrnin run into a fence and they both winced.

"Eve!" Claire called, waving her arm wildly in a childish beckon. "C'mere!"

A girl dressed in all black walked over to them. As she reached the danger zone—a circle of about twenty feet around Morley—she slammed a hand over her nose and stumbled back. "Oh, what the heck is that smell?"

Claire's face was like: ** D':**

"Don't say bad words, Eve," she said.

"What bad word?"

"Claire means the 'H' word you just said," Amelie spoke for Claire.

"Oh. Oops." Eve flashed a guilty smile, but instantly closed her mouth again because it felt like someone had just ripped ass in front of her face. "Seriously, y'all. What's that smell?" Amelie and Claire looked simultaneously at Morley, who had flies circling above his head in the most awkward halo EVAR.

Eve was all: ** O_O**

Amelie and Claire nodded together, confirming the smell came from Morley in a 'Told ya so' kind of way.

And then Myrnin came back, panting and carrying a decapitated frog. "GOT IT!"

The girls looked disgusted, but Oliver just slapped the thing out of Myrnin's hands and Myrnin watched pathetically as it rolled down a sand pile.

"Get the hideous thing a_way_ from us," Oliver snarled. Myrnin glared up at the taller ten-year-old.

"Fine. I will." And Myrnin flew at Oliver, pushed him out of the swing set area, and slammed a giant rock into Oliver's head, knocking him out. He got up to clearly mark his territory by peeing at the base of one of the poles that held up the swings.

He came back with a victorious look on his face, zipped up his fly, and brushed off his hands. "All better."

A shy little ginger walked up slowly to Amelie. He tapped her on the shoulder and looked up at her. "Amaywie?" he asked in the high voice of an innocent child. He was in preschool.

"Yeah, Sam?" she asked, looking down at the redhead.

"I wike yew. I wike yew awot. Pwease marry me?" And he got down on one knee and held up a dandelion to Amelie.

She blushed and took the flower. "Okay, Sam." As soon as Samuel got up, Amelie's voice changed from sweet to demanding. "Now make me a sandwich."

"You're in for it now," Myrnin whispered to Sam and rolled his eyes. _Couples_.


	2. Tuesday

Tuesdays weren't really all that fun, either. But at least Myrnin wasn't going to feel the urge to chew seven boxes of crayons today.

He sighed as he glanced up at the clock—not that he could tell the time, or really see it either, because of his sunglasses and the no-light-in-the-room problem—and willed it to tell the teacher it was the end of the day. Or playground time, maybe.

His brows furrowed as he wondered how the hell it did that. Did the clock just whisper in the teacher's ear, _It's time to let the little children go, Miss Teacher. _

Myrnin couldn't help his face as it turned into this: **O_O**

Myrnin took off his sunglasses so he could see what Amelie was doing, but when he took them off, the lights in the room magically turned on. Myrnin, fascinated, but them back over his eyes—and bam, the lights turned off. Myrnin was so intrigued, he put them on, then off. On, off. On, off. On, off. On, off...

.

Anyway, after his self-taught lesson on time and clocks and the whatnots, he was free to roam outside. Because, apparently, the clock had whispered into his teacher lady's ear.

Again, Myrnin's eyes went: **O_O**

But he shook it off and was happy about going outside. Until…he realized Oliver and Morley were going to be out there.

Oh, _God_.

And Myrnin did something he hadn't done before. _Evar_.  
>"God," he said, closing his eyes and folding his hands, "if you're there, you gots ta tell me." Silence. Myrnin almost peeked, but he caught himself, scared that opening his eyes would make it not work no mores. "Oh wells. I'll just tell ya anyways. Well, you prolly know 'bout Oliver and his stupid friend, <em>Morley<em>. So can you please just have a truck or something hit thems? I know you'll do this for me if you truly love me. Umm... sincerely, Myrnin."

Myrnin quit the prayer and, out of habit, took out the new crayon box from his pocket and began chewing on the red one. _Mmm… strawberry._

But Oliver and Morley weren't out there yet. And Amelie was sitting at her usual spot on the swings next to Claire, so Myrnin took up his on the gravel beside them.

Amelie frowned at Myrnin. "You're eating crayons again? You promised you'd stop."

Myrnin shrugged. "That was during science time. It's playground time, I deserve a break. It's been a whole fifteen minutes and I need a chew." He laid himself out on the ground and continued on the red crayon in his mouth.

Claire hopped off the swing and poked him with her toe. "Myrnin? That's not good for you. You're gonna gets some stuffs in your teefs. Like red and stuffs. And it'll be icky, and nobody'll wanna kiss you." When she said the word kiss, she blushed and looked away toward Shane, who was making mud pies with all the other 'cool' boys.

Myrnin looked up at her pink shirt with ruffles and orange flowers on it and her white shorts her mother had picked out for her. "Leave me 'lone, Claire. I can do what I want. And 'sides. You're a whole two grades younger than me. You don'ts knows a nuffin'."

Claire looked sad that Myrnin was destroying his life by chewing crayons, but she'd tried. She exhaled and got back on the swing with only minor difficulty.

Then, Sam walked up to the swings and got on one knee, holding a plate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it, as if offering a sword to a queen. _OR_, Myrnin thought excitedly, A_ DINOSUAR/UNICORN MIX._

Myrnin would _love_ a dinosaur-unicorn. He would love it so much he might eat it.

**=/**

...

"Thank you, Sammy," Amelie said, taking the sandwich off the plate and ramming half of it into her mouth as she ate with a beautiful, carnal hunger. And in under three seconds, the sandwich was a goner.

Sam was looking at it like: **D':**

Amelie was wiping her mouth with a bandana that served as a handkerchief and threw it onto the ground before she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, Sam. Did you want a bite?"

Sam's mouth closed, but he still looked like: **:'(**

"N-no," he said. "I'm fine. I'll just go get lunch from the line." And he waddled away and Myrnin believed he saw Sam wipe away at a tear as he left.

But that soon became the least of their troubles because Oliver walked up just then.

"Hello, Amelie," he said, picking up the abandoned bandana on the sand. "Hey," he said, admiring the piece of square-shaped cloth, "this is quite beautiful." And then he tied it around his head.

And that was the start of Oliver's hippie days.

**O_O**

If Myrnin—or anyone—would have known how much Oliver was going to go into being a posing hippie, they would have stopped him. Ask anyone. They'll tell you.

Anyway…

"Take that off your head, Oliver," Amelie said, tossing her pale blond hair over her shoulder. "You knows what, never mind. You can keeps it for permanent. I don't want your little hair vermins in my purse." She snapped her handbag closed and put it back on her arm, then applied lipstick almost as dreadfully as yesterday.

"Amelie—lemme help you," Myrnin said, but Amelie refused. Although, Myrnin had to give her props because this time, she'd broughted a mirror to make sure she put the lipstick where it goed.

But… the makeup somehow got on her forehead because, as he approached, Morley's stench practically slammed everyone backward a few feet.

"I thinks," Claire coughed out with watering eyes, "Morley's be heres."

Everyone made sounds like, "Awww, mans!" and kicked the dirt angrily.

All of them looked like this: **=/**

Except Oliver, because Morley was his friend. He looked like: **:D **

Just then, Amelie noticed Eve standing near the slide, and Amelie called her over with a wave. But Eve shook her head quickly, pointing to the unclean child who had just joined the group.

"I don't wanna go over theres," she shouted at Amelie. "If I does, I'mma gets a sumfing dat won'ts be good." And then Even ran away, as if she wasn't already far enough from Morley as it was.

Michael walked up to Claire and tugged her pant let on his tiptoes, because Claire was so high up on the swing, he could barely reach her.

"Cwair? I sowwie thats I didn't come outside yesterdays. I was inside 'cause I wasn't heres on Friday, 'member? I was sick. But anyways, I was takin' a quiz on my alphabets. Miss Lady Teacher Woman said that I did a good jobs."

Michael was so happy and proud, he looked like: ** :D**

"Hey, Michael," Myrnin said in a voice too shady for his age group. "C'mere. I hafta give you something." He pulled out a crayon. "Try it."

Michael's eyes went like: **O.O**

"I shouldn't be doin' that," he said, pushing the blue crayon away.

"Do it," Myrnin said evilly. "It tastes like grapes."

Amelie's eyebrows furrowed. "Myrnin, I _knew_ you was makin' this up. Crayons don't _taste_ like nuffin'! And even if they dids, blue would taste like blueberry, 'cause it's _blue_. Not grape!"

Myrnin was all: **:[**

"How would _you_ know? You've never tried them because _you're_ a wuss."

Michael looked intrigued. "I wuv gwapes," he whimpered. And then he snatched it out of Myrnin and ate the whole thing. Even the paper part.

Myrnin was so impressed, he looked like: **O_O**

Michael burpeded. "That tasted nuffin' wike gwapes! I hates you!" And he ran away crying, looking for the comfort of Eve's arms after the big bully, Myrnin, had made him do crayon for the first time.

Sam then came back with his tray of hot lunch. "Hey, Ammy. Wanna sits here on da gwounds wiff me?" he asked, patting a spot on the sand as he balanced his lunch on his lap.

Amelie looked at him like: **=/**

"You, of all people now that we're ingayged should know that I don't like sittin' on na grounds!"

Sam was like: **._.**

"I sowwie, Ammy. I so sowwie. I give you some gwapes, 'kay?" And in his small fist was a single grape, the most perfect one he'd picked out for Amelie. "Dis is for yew. 'Cause I wuv yew."

Amelie looked at Sam, and her grudging look disappeared. "Okay, Sam. I'll have it, 'cause I wuv you, too."

And as Amelie was reaching for the grape that represented the purity and innocence of their true love, Morley sneezed a cloud of green and it completely engulfed the grape, causing the piece of fruit to sizzle and turn to ash.

"Oops," Morley said, shrugging. "Sorry."


	3. Wednesday

Wednesdays were wonderful for Myrnin. Especially when it was raining—because it doesn't matter if this is Texas. Rachel Caine loves to change up the weather and little tidbits of facts, so let's just say it rains EVERY Wednesday.

Rain meant he wasn't allowed to go outside, due to previous encounters with mud and sand buckets...

In Miss Teacher's words, he'd "made a horrible example of this school by dumping mud pies down Amelie's shirt, blah blah blah..." Something like that. But even though it was he who had gotten in trouble, Amelie enjoyed staying inside with Myrnin so they could be together. 'Cause they were friends.

.

"Myrnin?" Amelie asked from her spot on the library floor. She was lying down on her back and staring up at the ceiling. "Has you evar thought of wuv?"

Myrnin looked up from where he was situated on his stomach, lying next to Amelie as he read a book about Charles Darwin kissing organisms. Myrnin made a face at the mention of the _L_ word. Real men _never_ thought of the _L_ word. "Awww, _ick_, Amelie. Why'd ya hafta bring that ups? I was feelin' all rights here, readin' my lovely book," he said, pointing at the picture of a dissected frog. "I don't ever catch myself thinkin' 'bout _wuv_."

Amelie looked like: **=/**

"What's wrong wiff wuv?" she asked, twirling around the dandelion Sam had given her on Monday. "I fink I wuv Sammy very, very much."

Myrnin shrugged, closing his book. "Dunnos," he said honestly. "I just don't like all that mushy, gushy stuffs that peoples does."

"What kinda mushy, gushy stuff?"

"Like... holdin' hands an' touchin' lips an' stuff."

"But that's-"

"Hey, guys," Michael said, walking into the library followed by Eve, Shane and Claire. "We thoughts we'd join ya 'cause there ain't nuffin' else ta do. And 'cause Morley and Oliver are out theres." He pointed to the window where water droplets rolled down the glass. Past that, though, were the odd pair of friends. Morley and Oliver stood under a tree with another little girl who was peering into Oliver's mug of brown, weird-smelling stuff.

"Yeahs," said Shane, nodding, "Claire and me ain't gonna go nears Morwey an' Owiver." Myrnin saw Claire and Shane holding hands. And so, apparently, did Amelie.

"You twos can't hold hands yet!" she shouted, jumping up and ripping Claire's and Shane's hands apart. Claire looked down and stepped a bit away from Shane, closer to Amelie.

Shane looked all: **D:**

"_Guys!_" Sam yelled, running into the library. He ran smack into a bookshelf, but shook himself off and ran toward them as if nothing had happened. "_Guys!_ I just heard Mr. Mal was gonna gets Myrnin in twoubles 'cause he didn't cwean up his mess durin' art, and he heard that Myrnin was runnin' arounds wiff a paper airpwane and ran into Ms. Steph."

Myrnin shrugged. "They won't be able ta catch me, even if they do finds meh."

Sam looked at Myrnin, as if seeing him for the first time. "Myrnin?" Sam asked, pointing to Myrnin's giant, neon-green sunglasses. "I don't finks ya should be wearin' those in heres."

"How come?" Myrnin asked.

"'Cause my momma says dat you'll gets bwind."

"Well your momma is dumb," Myrnin said harshly.

"She ain't nots!" Sam shouted in his mother's defense. But Amelie went over to Sam and took his hand in hers as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Don't worry, Sam," she said softly. "I think your mommy's the nicest mom in the whole wide world."

Myrnin was all: **=/**

"Fine. I see ya don't needs meh," he said. And then he took a paper airplane out of his dirty lab coat pocket and held it up in the air. "Ready for takeoff, mister?" he asked to an invisible someone. "Vroom vroom!" And then he ran around the library and out into the hall, flying his airplane making juvenile sound effects.

"Ain't that what he got in twoubles for before?" Eve asked, watching Myrnin bump into the door frame a little on his way out.

"Yeahs," Michael said, worried. "What if he gets in even _more_ twoubles?"

But nobody wondered what could happen to Myrnin. It certainly couldn't be worse than what was about to happen to them, because Oliver came into the library with Morley tagging along.

Everyone had learned by now to hold their breath in Morley's presence, but it didn't make anyone want to puke less than it had the first time they met him.

Morley was smiling widely as he carried a cockroach in his hands. But it wasn't the bug he was carrying that everybody was staring at. It was his _teeth_.

"Is that a natuwal shade of yewwo?" Michael whispered into Eve's ear. Eve shook her head quickly and stepped back with each step that Morley took toward them.

"VROOM VROO—"

"Myrnin, what are you doing in the hall!" a familiar voice shouted.

Everyone was like: **O_O**

"Uhhh… Hi," everyone heard Myrnin say bashfully. They moved over to the entrance of the library and hid behind a tree, watching Myrnin get in trouble.

Behind Myrnin's back was his paper airplane and in front of him stood Miss Teacher looking very angry.

"What have I _told_ you about running around in the halls?"

"Miss Teacher Lady? What's that vowel that's only 'sometimes?'" he asked, making air quotes around the word _sometimes_.

"Why."

Myrnin shrugged, scratching his head. "Dunnos. I wanna know, I s'pose."

"_Why_."

Myrnin frowned. "Look, lady, just 'cause I gots me in some troubles doesn't mean that I—"

"It's _Y_, Myrnin! _Y_ is the vowel that's only 'sometimes!'" she yelled, pulling at her hair like a mad woman.

Myrnin thought so, too. His eyes got wide, like so: **O.O** and he stepped back, putting his hands in front of him.

"Don't eat me, please. I'm too young to die! I haven't even dissected my thousandth frog! I was just gonna do that when I gots home, 'cause they always like ta come out when it rains."

Everyone was like: **D':**

"Don't kill Myrnin!" Amelie screamed, rushing out of her hiding place. "Please don't!" In her haste, she tripped over her mother's high heels and fell onto the teacher woman, knocking her to the floor.

Sam laughed in a high-pitched squeal. "DAWG PILE!" he shouted. And then he ran and jumped on top of Amelie who was struggling to get up off the teacher.

Michael, Eve, and Shane followed, leaving Claire behind looking stricken.

Myrnin scrambled away as Amelie sent him a pleading look and stood next to Claire, wondering what the hell he could do.

Morley was like:** :D** as he jumped onto the pile, causing everyone to be like: **O_O**

"I know," Myrnin said as he straightened his bowtie. He picked up a large book and walked calmly over to Miss Teacher Girl and hit her on the head with it. Hard.

"Myrnin!" Claire shouted. "You can't do's that!"

Myrnin shrugged. "Just did, so there."

Everyone piled off and looked at the unconscious teacher.

Claire and Amelie looked all: **O_O**

Everyone else was like: **:D :D :D :D :D**

"What do we do nows?" Morley asked.

"Let's throw 'er in her classroom," Shane suggested.

"Good idea," Myrnin said. "Help me, guys." And together, all of them pushed Miss Teacher to her class and arranged her as if she were dead.

They all looked down at her. "Anybody wanna say somethin'?" Eve asked.

"I'm sorry," Amelie said, wiping a tear away while smearing her lipstick that had gotten on her eyes this morning. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

Myrnin stepped up and looked at his teacher lying on the floor. "You really were an ugly woman."

When nobody else spoke, they all snuck out of the third grade classroom together and quietly walked into the library.

"Guys, I don't fink we should be in da wie-berries," Sam said. Amelie took his hand in hers again.

"Don't worry, Sammy. We'll be okays."

"LET'S PLAY CATCH!" Myrnin shouted, picking up a dictionary and throwing it at Oliver.

For the split second that Oliver saw it flying toward his face, he looked like: **O.O** And when it hit, he fell on the ground like: **X_X**

"Is he… dead?" Morley asked, poking Oliver's motionless body with his toe.

Shane shrugged. "Who cares?"

And they all lived happily ever after.

At least 'til playtime was over and Miss Teacher saw Myrnin again.

* * *

><p><strong>Find the rest of this story on Madelyn Grey's profile: http(:)www(.)fanfiction(.)net(/)u(/)2270678(/)**


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